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Is it rude to ask for money as a wedding gift?

Aug 5, 20198 min read
Ollie Rozdarz, Co-Founder of Hitchd
Ollie Rozdarz
Co-Founder of Hitchd

Traditional gift giving at weddings is a motion of the past. The outmoded concept of giving newlyweds an electrical appliance or homeware item does not adequately reflect the needs of present-day brides and grooms.

Contemporary couples are not seeking an exorbitant pile of presents on their big day (which will ultimately contain six kettles, a toaster, and a variety of Mr & Mrs glasses). Modern newlyweds are realistic about their wishes, and would much prefer a cash gift that can support their upcoming needs or aspirations.

As long as you are polite in your request for cash gifts, there is no need to feel ashamed for avoiding old-fashioned presents. Receiving cash you can actually use is undoubtedly better than a bunch of goods that will simply grow dusty in the cupboard.

Cash wedding gifts are a simpler and more cultivated gift-giving option for guests, and the money will ultimately be more treasured by you. Instead of wondering whether you should be asking for money, it is time to question how to create a cash registry without making a fuss.

How to politely ask for money instead of gifts

Because cash giving and cash registries are increasingly popular at weddings, most of your guests will not blink an eye when you request the stress-free option of money. However, ol' Grandpa and Grandma may still be a couple of years behind the eight ball.

Hence, it is crucial that you respectfully and graciously explain your cash gift wedding policy. There are a number of do's and don'ts for registry planning. We believe at the crux of being polite is an emphasis on clarity and transparency.

Acknowledge the registry at the very beginning

Many couples ask the question of whether they should include gift suggestions on their wedding invitation. We recommend spreading this detail in subtler ways, so that it does not appear to be a forceful expectation set upon your guests.

Being clear about your gift desires from the get-go is still important, as it will ensure that nobody assumes any incorrect ideas. If guests are not informed about your registry, they may go ahead and buy a physical gift. The best ways to inform your guests of a registry are via your bridal party or by linking to it on your wedding website.

If you are sending out a digital second copy of your wedding invitation, you may also like to include a link to your wedding registry website there so that guests can easily access the platform and locate further details of your gift arrangement.

Make it simple for guests

In the last minute dash of wedding preparation, guests do not want the stress of a hasty ATM or bank visit. Society is going cashless, which means you need to as well.

Using an online wedding registry means that your family and friends can lodge their cash gift in minutes. Setting up your registry on a renowned website will enable your guests to quickly select their chosen amount, payment method, and process funds directly to you.

Ultimately, a wedding registry with experiences is automatically a simplifier for guests, as they no longer have to dwell on what to buy the newlyweds. Brides and grooms who are confused about what to put on their wedding registry will find that the best wedding gift registries outline a variety of options for them. Hitchd provides a multitude of quirky ideas, as well as giving couples the choice to add their own gifts.

Use polite phrasing

When introducing the innovative idea of a cash registry, you need to calmly and sophisticatedly explain the concept to guests.

The perfect cash registry wording will be gentle and polite. Instead of telling guests, you will ask them. We recommend replacing “do this” with “we kindly ask”. Some wedding planners like to explicitly state how they do not expect a present at all, but will accept cash from those who want to contribute.

Providing invitees with a specific link that sends them to your registry will keep the process straightforward and speedy for them. Reputable registry websites, like Hitchd, display your wedding registry gift ideas in an uncomplicated manner.

Show them what you have put the money towards

To prove to guests that you are going to use their cash gift for a good purpose, you need to make note of your intentions, and then demonstrate that you actually followed through with those plans.

Registries like Hitchd allow you to send images and messages to your guests after the wedding, so you can explain how their money was put to use. On this online honeymoon registry, you can upload images from your experience, as well as adding a personal letter of thankfulness.

The benefits of asking for money instead of gifts

Many engaged couples are already convinced that money will suit their needs far better than a random assortment of wasteful gifts. Online wedding registries have the potential to be holiday funders or valuable kick-starters.

Following the modern trend of a wedding cash registry means you are opening yourself to a range of opportunities. The advantages are blatant and endless.

You can choose what to spend the money on.

Aunty Karen thinks that you will love a knitted tablecloth. But, we all know that is not the case. Sorry, Aunty Karen, but your knits make us itch…

Receiving cash as a wedding gift means that you can put the money towards something that is helpful or meaningful to you. Modern day couples generally like to spend their money on travel or experiences. As opposed to having items, they would prefer to have memories.

If you know certain guests at your wedding will want the ability to choose a present for you, ensure that your registry has a variety of gift options for them to select from.

You won't have double ups of items

Physical gift giving at weddings often results in a number of matching items being presented. Remember that dinner set that was on sale at the local department store? You can anticipate a few of those.

Wedding registries are the solution to duplicate presents. Guests can still choose what they would prefer to gift you, but once an item has been purchased, other guests will not be able to purchase that specific item again.

Gift registries almost act as a communication tool between guests, because they ensure no gift will be repeated. Cash registries are another step up in efficacy and organisation, as they are stricter in requesting money as opposed to physical items. The most popular online wedding cash registries will still allow you to list gift items, however the purpose of the registry will be for guests to communally fund those gifts.

In most cases, the gifts listed in cash registries will be experiences instead of physical gifts. For example, the couple may list flights for travel or holiday accommodation. When the registry is created on a sophisticated digital platform, there is no potential for double ups or overfunding of gifts.

There is no competition between guests over best wedding gifts

Mothers and mothers-in-law are renowned for unspoken wars over the most iconic wedding gift. News flash: we do not want the overpriced pie maker or the expensive blender. You both lose.

To keep the family dramas at a minimum, a simple cash registry will ensure there is no gift competition. It allows guests to anonymously contribute, without other guests receiving any information of their donation amount. Less pressure equals more comfort for your friends and family.

You can keep your wedding venue free of ugly present piles

A jam-packed present corner with mismatched wrapping paper is likely to distract from the aesthetic of your overall wedding. Furthermore, bringing bulky presents to the venue is a challenging task for attendees. On a similar note, it is a challenge for the bride and groom to eventually transport them back to their own home.

Online registries assist with wedding logistics hugely, as nether you or your attendee has to worry about transport or storage. Compared to all other wedding registry ideas, digital registry platforms have been the most successful at capturing The world's attention. Unsightly gift tables are a tradition of last century.

How to avoid looking tacky when asking for money as a wedding gift

Nobody wants to seem rude or desperate when asking for money as a gift. Despite what some reactionary critics believe, cash as a gift is not a cheap move. Especially when done in a cultured manner, receiving or giving money as a gift is not tasteless.

Being strategic with how you request and collect your cash will stop arrogant guests from having reason to comment negatively. Uncle Joe will be striking moves on the dance floor, rather than kicking a stink on the back table. (On second thought… maybe we want him restrained to the corner?)

Use a modern platform to collect the money

The key to eliminate tackiness when requesting money from guests is making use of an online registry that has a highly-functioning, modern layout. A clean, easy-to-use site will stop you from looking cheap and shabby.

When choosing the best honeymoon registry or wedding money registry, consider options that are proven to exceed expectations. One of the most popular wedding registry sites is Hitchd. The contemporary appearance and effortless site navigation makes the registry website a noble choice that is certain to impress guests.

To summarize, Hitchd is a non-traditional registry that allows the soon-to-be-married couple to list any gift for their guests to fund. The gift options are abundant, including experiences and flights for travel, or the couple can add gift choices of their own.

Personalise the registry with images and words

The best online wedding registries will give you the option to customise your registry page. By adding pictures and text that directly relates to your aspirations, your guests can be confident that the money is actually going to your bank, rather than into a dodgy website.

When using Hitchd, couples can incorporate welcome and thank you messages to visitors. They can also edit imagery so that the page matches their overall wedding theme or the couple's characteristics. Remember, a polite and light-hearted tone is essential when writing any messages to guests.

Allow guests to choose how much they want to contribute

As a gift receiver, you should never be too expectant or demanding from your guests. Your friends and family need to turn up to your event feeling relaxed and fortunate, not hard done by. Pressing your guests to contribute large amounts is a sure way to leave a rotten taste in their mouths.

Therefore, you need to leave the cash amount decision up to the guests. Do not advise or forcibly suggest a suitable amount. Allow them to make a contribution that harmonises with their financial circumstances. Without this pressure, your attendees will be able to appreciate your cash policy even more.

Explain why you are seeking money

It is vital that you outline to your guests what you plan to spend your money on. Many engaged couples collect money to aid their honeymoon or support the upcoming purchase of a home.

By knowing what your plans are, cash-givers will feel much more at ease by knowing their money is going to a reasonable cause. They will also feel more comfortable when the payments are made through a safe and reliable application like Stripe. Many wedding planners choose to create their wedding present registry through hitchd because they accept all major cards, such as VISA, Mastercard and AMEX.

The way that Hitchd works is simple. You can choose how you organise and manage your registry, including what gifts you would like your guests to fund. Simply sign up to the platform, begin designing your unique registry, add your distinctive gifts, and then publish the registry. From there, you can easily share the registry with guests with your one-of-a-kind site address.

Stop feeling guilty

Once your guests understand the purpose behind your cash request, and realise how straightforward and quick the process is for them, they are bound to be approving of your money registry. Truthfully, many guests will love it!

It is your wedding day after all, so all decisions should be made in your best interests. That includes receiving presents that are perfectly curated with your needs and desires in mind.

Traditional gift giving was designed for olden-day couples who married before travel was popular and they were yet to move in with their partners. In recent years, cash and honeymoon registries have become more and more apparent for progressive weddings. Whilst their popularity has risen, the backlash has reduced dramatically. To cover all bases and make every guest happy, many couples choose to add one or two token physical gifts to their registry.

Almost all couples who have used hitchd report that their guests were relieved and satisfied with the simplified process that enables practical gift-giving. Always keep in mind that the people attending your big day are your closest friends and family, so they are bound to accept your registry choices when they comprehend just how valuable it will be for you.

Looking for the #1 way to fund your honeymoon?

Hitchd is a new type of honeymoon registry that helps fund your adventure of a lifetime. Think of us as your very own wishing well, Kickstarter, and travel planner, all rolled into one beautiful experience.