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A witty Thank You card

Wedding Thank You Card Etiquette: 9 Rules to Follow

Ollie Rozdarz, Co-Founder of Hitchd
Ollie from Hitchd
Jun 26, 20226 min read

If you are in the thick of wedding planning, you may be sick of hearing about all of the etiquette involved in the various parts of a wedding. We hate to break it to you, but there’s also wedding thank you card etiquette to consider. Don’t come at us — we’re just the messenger!

The good news is that the dos and don’ts are fairly straightforward.

Because of the timeliness in getting wedding thank you notes in the mail, it’s best to start thinking about your plan well before the big day.

With hitchd, we use automation to make sending wedding thank you cards easy for you and impactful for your gift givers. Plus, you can choose printed or digital cards depending on your preferences and budget.

Let’s explore the wedding thank you card etiquette rules that most wedding planners and experts agree on.

  1. Always send a thank you note.

There really isn’t much debate about if you should or shouldn’t send a wedding thank you note to a gift giver or wedding guest. If someone spent their own money to give you a gift or their time to attend your wedding, you should send them a thank you card.

Some people may think that if a guest attends their wedding but doesn’t give them a gift, they don’t need to send a thank you card.

But, you really should. They took the time to come and celebrate you. And maybe they forgot their gift and it’s coming, or they just couldn’t afford to give you a gift but didn’t want to embarrass themselves by telling you that or not showing up. Either way, thank them for their time.

You will also want to remember those who weren’t invited to your wedding but still contributed toward your cash fund or gave you a gift or money. Yes, there will likely be a few! You may have work colleagues that you didn’t invite but are friendly with, or neighbors or a friend of your parents who want to contribute toward your wedding.

As you can see, the thank you card list can start to add up.

With hitchd, your guests and any friends and family members who want to give you a cash gift can contribute in one place. And you can easily track cash gifts coming in and send thank you notes promptly.

  1. Send thank you notes for each wedding event.

Every wedding is different. Some people have multiple wedding events and others just have the shower and the wedding day.

If you have multiple events planned for your wedding, and guests bring a gift of any sort to any of the events, they should receive a thank you note for each event.

This applies to events such as:

  • Engagement parties
  • Bridal showers (don’t forget bridal showers thrown by your colleagues or others outside of your formal bridal shower)
  • Bachelorette parties
  • Bachelor parties
  • The big day (of course)
  1. Consider people outside of guests who you will need to send a thank you note to

While your guests and anyone who gives you a present or cash gift should receive a thank you note, they’re not the only ones.

This may be personal preference, but it never hurts to thank those who helped make your special day possible. These people include your wedding vendors like the DJ, photographer, caterer, florist, and bakery.

If you used them, you might also want to send a thank you to your stylists and your wedding planner.

While you paid these thank you card recipients to make your day special, sending gratitude is never a bad thing. We all want to know our hard work was appreciated.

  1. Keep it personal

If you can add a personal touch to each thank you card, your gift giver or guest will appreciate the extra step!

Maybe you shared a special moment at the wedding or danced together during your favorite song. You could also take this time to let the person know how much it means that you have been a part of your love story, or maybe you used to vacation together when you were younger.

These little momentos help make the thank you card feel personal.

  1. Mention the specific gift you received

Instead of opting for a generic “Thank you for the gift” message, include the specific gift in your thank you card wording.

Keeping track of physical gifts can get tricky. You’ll need to make sure to write the name of the gift giver somewhere with the name of the gift and hang on to it until you write your thank you notes.

Even if someone gives you a cash gift, mention that you appreciate their monetary gift. Cash and checks can also get difficult to keep track of, not to mention the risk of losing cash or check.

To make it easy, safe and convenient for both you and your guests, consider setting up  a cash wedding registry on hitchd. Your cash is safe and secure and you can deposit it into an account of your choice whenever you want. Plus, you can easily track who gave you the cash and what they contributed towards on your page, making thank you card writing a breeze.

  1. Share how you’ll use the gift (or money)

Let your guests know how you intend to use the gift or money that they gave you. It’s always nice to know that the newlyweds found the gift to be useful.

Something like: “Thank you for your generous cash gift. We plan on using it for our bike-riding excursion through Greece. We will be sure to send pictures afterward!”

By setting up an experience or honeymoon fund on hitchd, your guests can choose what to contribute to. Plus, you can use beautiful visuals to show them exactly what their money will be used for. It helps create the feeling that they are still giving a physical gift.

  1. Include both wedding partners on the signature

When you are in the thick of writing several thank you notes, you may forget to get your partner to sign as well. For handwritten notes, it’s always nice to have each partner sign, but another great alternative is writing your new formal name, if the two of you will share one.

For example: “Thank you so much, The Millers.”

  1. Send thank you notes in a timely manner

You may receive different advice on when to send wedding thank you cards. Some people may say you have up to a year after the wedding to send, while others are in the “within two weeks for everyone” camp.

As a rule of thumb, you want to send a thank you note for any gift for any occasion within two weeks. Most wedding planners agree that this timeframe is also true for any gifts you receive before your wedding day, and for any pre-wedding events like those mentioned above.

However, most agree that for gifts you receive at your wedding, or after, you have up to three months to send your thank you card. People understand that you have some decompressing to do after your big day, plus honeymoon plans and getting back to normal life, so there’s a bit of leeway.

With hitchd, you can email thank you cards anytime you want, or have us print and mail your cards so that you don’t have to worry about timelines, missing anyone or tracking down addresses.

  1. Digital vs. Handwritten wedding thank you cards

Throughout the last two years and even before the world went into involuntary remote work and life, people have been more accustomed to digital communication.

The same goes for wedding invites, and wedding thank you cards. More couples are choosing to send digital correspondence for their wedding to 1) reduce the amount of paper they need to use, thus saving the environment, and 2) because it’s just easier!

Still, there’s something to be said about receiving a handwritten or printed note in the mail. Some older generations may not have email, so this option may be more appropriate for them.

Sending a digital versus printed thank you card is really a personal preference.  Just remembering to send a thank you note (on time) and acknowledging someone’s presence or gift is enough and appreciate in any form.

Hopefully, you find these tips helpful as you start thinking about your list of thank you card recipients. Although this is typically the last piece of your wedding, it shouldn’t be an afterthought.

Use hitchd to make sure you check the thank you card etiquette boxes

Hitchd makes cash gift giving easy for you and your guests. Whether you set up a honeymoon fund, register for unique items or simply set up a cash fund to be used for a home downpayment or staycation, doing so is easy and safe.

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