Is It Tacky to Ask for Money Instead of Gifts for a Wedding
If you’ve come this far to ask the question of whether or not it’s tacky to ask for money as a wedding gift, more than likely, you’re in a happy couple ready to tie the knot. First things first, we’d like to offer your our deepest congratulations. Next, let’s get down to business to answer the burning question.
A quintessential element of all things wedding is deciding how you would like to handle gifts. Some couples request none, some create a registry website for physical gifts, while others ask for money instead.
While a cash registry is a trending wedding concept, many couples wonder if family and friends will find it rude in any way. Thankfully, we are here to set the record straight.
Here’s everything you need to know about how to help you and your partner plan a fantastic future together by asking for money instead of physical gifts for your wedding, all while following proper etiquette.
Etiquette is Crucial When Asking for Money as a Wedding Gift
You hear the term wedding etiquette being thrown around often as you begin your planning process, but what exactly does it mean? Simply put, wedding etiquette refers to the rules of politeness you should follow as a rule of thumb, although they often go primarily unspoken. Obviously, various cultures and regions will have their own etiquette when it comes to weddings.
Why Should You Follow Wedding Etiquette?
Although you may think opting for money instead of gifts is a more modern approach that forgoes any traditional wedding etiquette, think again. Remember that your guests can’t wait to celebrate your big day with you, and following proper etiquette helps prevent offending anyone. Without etiquette, some guests might feel overlooked, slighted, or like they are being left out in some fashion.
Much like you are putting in a lot of time, effort, and money for the event of your wedding, your guests are also contributing much of the same for their attendance. Of course, your family and friends are happy to do it because they love you and want to support you in your new future, but it’s crucial to remember their costs as well. Some of the overlooked expenses for wedding guests may include things such as:
- Overnight accommodation
- Wedding gift
To sum it up, you should always follow wedding etiquette because you want to ensure your attendees feel welcomed and appreciated for attendee this incredible moment in your lives and giving you wedding gifts.
Wedding Etiquette 101
As previously mentioned, traditions and cultures can vary based on several different factors, but, generally speaking, there are a handful of standard wedding etiquette rules most couples should follow.
Six weeks before the big day, you should be sending out the wedding invitation. It might be viewed as inconsiderate or rude to send them out any closer to the wedding date. Be mindful of your guests’ time and what they have going on in their lives - give them plenty of notice to make the necessary arrangements to be able to attend, including time to request time off of work.
Most weddings will have some downtime in between the ceremony and reception - usually, this is a time when the couple, family members, and wedding party are having their pictures taken.
Even though you and your partner will be preoccupied during this time, don’t forget about the rest of your guests. Make sure they have something to do by hosting a cocktail hour with light snacks.
Even though you and your partner may not have any dietary restrictions, you will want to be mindful of these possibilities in your attendees when planning out the meal portion of your reception.
In most instances, you’ll be aware of any significant allergies or diets your family or friends have. But, to be sure, you can leave space on the RSVP for your guests to include this information. Don’t overlook these notes, and work closely with your coordinator to make sure everyone can be accommodated appropriately.
Everyone that attends your wedding deserves some attention from the lucky couple, even if it is a quick exchange of words during the reception. Make sure you take the time to break away from dancing, if needed, to get time in with every one of your guests. Try not to spend all of your time with your wedding party.
Within the first three months following the wedding, you should always send out your thank-you cards. Guests will be keeping an eye out for a note from you, so getting something to them in a timely manner is essential. You can send out thank-you emails right away at Hitchd, which is just one of the countless features that make this registry one of the bests of its kind.
Don’t Ask For Cash Gifts Directly
Wedding etiquette says that the presence of your guests is the true gift, meaning that they are not required to bring any other sort of gift in addition to that. Of course, all couples are greatly appreciative of most gifts that guests are inclined to bring.
Some guests might think that it feels a bit off if you ask for cash, even more so if there are no details as to where the cash is going. After all, your guests want to participate in helping you and your partner build your lives together. They’d just like to see how they are contributing. Instead of asking for cash on an invitation, consider creating a cash gift registry and adding the link to your wedding website.
Understanding Gift Lists
When we talk about a gift list, we are referring to a list of home goods or other items that the couple would like to receive as a wedding present. Most guests attending a wedding purchase a gift, usually home-related, to help the couple set up their new house in order to celebrate the couple and help them get started on their new life together.
Not even a decade ago, it was uncommon for couples to be living together before their wedding day. As such, a wedding was a celebration that marked the milestone of this new couple creating a new home together. Naturally, home goods became popular as a physical gift to purchase for newlyweds.
Fast forward to today, though, and more and more couples would prefer monetary gifts as a wedding gift. Why couples are ditching traditional wedding registries for wedding registry experiences stems from couples living together prior to getting married. More than likely, a bride could create online registries but really prefer to ask for money instead.
Still, the physical gifts of a wedding have not entirely disappeared. Instead, modern couples hope to spread the word to family members and friends about the new style of wedding gifts they would prefer, including:
- Charity fund
- Honeymoon gift list
- Department store gift list/registry
- Cash fund
There are plenty of different sites brides can register with to present these options, but with Hitchd, you receive the utmost customization features to help you build the perfect gift list for you and your partner. So, if you don’t know quite what to say, we can help you get started with our gift templates that provide text for all sorts of registry information.
Is a Gift List Tacky?
The short answer is no, especially if you are careful about how you spread the word about it. In fact, here are 5 tactful ways to ask for money as gifts for your wedding.
Use your wedding website to advocate for your wedding gifts, whatever they may be. You can also request that your wedding party and parents to help talk to attendees who might have missed your wedding website. Whatever you do, do not put your gift list on your wedding invitation.
If you need more convincing, check out 10 reasons you need a honeymoon registry for your wedding to learn more about how to look past any cash gift taboos.
Gift List Etiquette
You will still need to be polite and adhere to proper wedding manners when designing a gift list for your wedding, even if it feels like the less traditional route. Here are some ideas brides could follow to help explain the registry website.
Start with a Polite Introduction
Instead of briefly adding your registry to your invitation, request that your guests seek more information online. Here, you can add a note about your registries and add a thank-you to the introduction.
You can write your own introduction on the homepage of your registry when you’re using a site like Hitchd. Instead of asking for a traditional or monetary gift, here you can remind them that their presence is more than you could ask for.
If you need additional help with your introductions, check out 5 tips for the perfect honeymoon registry wording.
Include Photos on the Site
For a cash registry, it helps to include photos linked to the gifts people can contribute to. Let your guests know where their funds will go without them asking. Keep them involved by telling them where you are staying, what you will be doing, etc., as newlyweds.
Spread the Hype
The personal touch of sharing your enthusiasm helps guests understand that this honeymoon fund or cash registry means a lot to the newlyweds, and they’ll feel more invested in making it a success by contributing.
Explain a Timeline
When it comes to cash gifts and charity registries, always provide a timeline of when you will donate the money you are asking for. Send out thank-you cards on the date that you tell your guests their cash gifts are being donated to the charity as mentioned above.
Thank Your Guests
Never forget your thank-you cards! When you’re ready to send out thank-you cards, you’ll know who gave what because Hitchd keeps track of who contributed to your gift list. Before your mailed cards even arrive, which can sometimes take months, you can also send email thank-yous through Hitchd from your registry.
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